What Makes a Great Coach? The Skills That Elevate Leaders and Teams
Let’s set the record straight: mentoring isn’t just about giving advice. If it were, every TED Talk would turn people into experts overnight. You could watch a YouTube video and I’d be out of a job. Luckily for me, I suppose, that’s not the case.
Mentoring is about unlocking potential, shifting mindsets, and helping people see (and act on) what they’re truly capable of. It’s about transformation, not instruction.
At The Threadsmith Group, we know firsthand that great mentoring isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about knowing how to help people find their own. So what makes someone an exceptional mentor? And how can leaders apply mentoring skills in their own work?
The Essential Skills of a Great Mentor
1. They Actually Listen
I’m breaking every rule of blog post design in this, but I want it in BIG IMPORTANT TEXT because the listening is C R I T I C A L.
CRITICAL!!!! And honestly, I could just end the post here, but I won’t, so let’s continue.
You know when you’re talking to someone, and you can just tell they’re waiting for their turn to talk? IT’S THE WOOOORST.
A great mentor doesn’t just nod along. They reflect it back, dig deeper, and help you make sense of your own thoughts.
2. They Ask the Questions That Stop You in Your Tracks
If mentoring were just about handing out answers, ChatGPT would’ve put us all out of business by now. The magic of mentoring is in the questions—the kind that make you go, oh…well, shit. They’ll ask stuff like:
“What’s the real challenge here? No, really.”
“If you weren’t afraid of failing, what would you do?”
“What fear is holding you back from doing that?”
3. They Push You Past Comfortable
Growth doesn’t happen in comfort. It happens when your brain is screaming nope, nope, let’s not do this, and a mentor is right there saying, “Yeah, you can.” They don’t shove you off the cliff, but they’re not letting you back away from the edge either.
4. They Hold You Accountable Without Being a Jerk
Mentoring isn’t all “aha moments.” It’s also follow-through. A great coach checks in, not with “Why didn’t you do this?” but with “What got in the way? What needs to shift so you can actually do it next time?” There’s a delicate balance of accountability without tripping over into shame.
5. They See Your Potential Before You Do
We all underestimate ourselves. A good mentor will call you out when you’re playing small. They should reflect back the strengths you’ve been brushing off and push you to own them. Sometimes (realistically, like, 80% of the time) the breakthrough isn’t learning something new, it’s realizing you’ve had the capacity all along.
Bringing Mentoring Into Leadership
You don’t have to call yourself a mentor to be one. The best leaders use these tools every day:
Ask guiding questions instead of solving everything yourself.
Give feedback that grows people instead of just fixing mistakes.
Step back and let people figure things out (even if you could do it faster).
Hand out stretch assignments before people think they’re ready. It’s how people grow and prove themselves.
The Threadsmith Group’s Approach
At The Threadsmith Group, mentoring isn’t just something we do, it’s who we are. Whether it’s executive mentoring, leadership development, or team transformation, we help people uncover their potential and take action.
Great mentoring isn’t about giving people answers. It’s about helping them discover the answers they already have.