WednesdAMA: Reader-Submitted Questions
While it’s true we get to do a lot of cool work with various companies, it’s no secret that our individual mentoring is considered the crown jewel of The Threadsmith Group. If we can make one person’s life better through the mentoring we provide, the business is a success.
BUT, not everyone is able to make the investment to get 1:1 mentoring, and we believe in giving back to the community. So welcome to WednesdAMA, in which we take a mix of reader submitted questions and LinkedIn questions and answer them.
Reader-Submitted: “How do I know when it’s time to stop trying to “fix” things and just leave?”
Imagine you own a house. I have to say imagine because, y’know, capitalism, but let’s say you have friends coming over and punching holes in your drywall every day. Every day, they punch holes in your walls, and you faithfully pull out the drywall mud to patch those holes up. At what point do you decide to stop inviting those friends over and cut your losses?
That’s ultimately something you have to decide for yourself. What I will say is that there are some things you can be on the lookout for as red flags that indicate leadership has no intent of fixing their drywall-punching ways:
When feedback turns into a repeating loop instead of real change.
When every suggestion is met with “we’ll take it under consideration,” and then buried under “business priorities” or gets never spoken about again.
When your own well-being has become a trade-off for someone else’s convenience.
Ultimately, you’ll know it’s time when staying starts to cost more than walking away. You’ll get tired of putting in the energy, giving up your identity, patching the holes and never seeing any real change.
And if you do leave, I want you to realize that you haven’t failed. You’ve put yourself first (ALWAYS a good thing!) and rescued yourself from a place that was absolutely not interested in changing or becoming better. You just finally decided your worth was not negotiable and I’m proud of you for that.
LinkedIn: “Your workload is already overwhelming. How do you handle added tasks from your manager without burning out?”
You don’t. If you’re already underwater, you don’t just smile and accept more flooding.
You sit down and say something to the effect of: “I’m at capacity right now. If you’d like me to take this on, we’ll need to either shift priorities or extend the timeline. What makes the most sense?” And then pause. Let the silence sit. Let it get so, so awkward if you need it to. That’s going to be horrible, you’re going to want so badly to fill the silence, but make your manager speak first.
This is not a performance. It’s not about proving anything. It’s a boundary conversation—and what your manager says next will tell you everything you need to know.
Do they work with you to problem-solve? Great, now you can move forward with something productive and useful.
Do they dismiss it, tell you to “just figure it out,” or imply you’re not managing your time well enough? That’s not a you problem. That’s a them problem, and it’s one hell of a red flag.
This is your career, your health, your time, and it deserves to be honored and valued. If your manager refuses to do that, make plans to find someone who will.
Reader-Submitted: “I’m afraid to take credit for my work. How do I speak up without sounding arrogant?”
Oh, I know this trap. We get so much pressure to shrink, stay quiet, and “let the work speak for itself”. Frankly, it’s bullshit. The work’s never going to speak for itself, and if it does, it’s usually in the form of some guy taking credit for your work.
Let’s reframe this: Taking credit for your work is literally your job. You did the work. You get the credit, that’s how credit works.
My go-to method of handling this is to use “we” and “I” in the same sentence, so multiple people get credit at once. So for example, “I led the research portion of this project, then I collaborated with the engineering team to build the project”. , “I handled the initial relationship, then handed it off to so-and-so on the sales team who successfully closed the deal.”
That’s clear, confident, collaborative, and allows you to step into taking credit without being cocky or arrogant about it.
And if you need a gut check, ask yourself if you’d think anyone else was arrogant for saying the exact same thing. Don’t let your self-doubt get in the way of the good work you do!
LinkedIn: “You're feeling overwhelmed at work. How do you harness mindfulness to stay positive and motivated?”
I reject the premise.
Why do we assume this company deserves our positivity and motivation in the first place?
If I’m overwhelmed—like, truly at my limit—and I’ve already spoken up about it, and leadership responds with silence, vagueness, or a thin smile and a “hang in there”?
Then no. I’m not going to force myself to feel grateful for being ignored.
Mindfulness is not a fix for broken systems.
It’s not your job to emotionally regulate yourself into submission while nothing changes around you.
What all these feel-good articles tend to forget is that work is a reciprocal relationship. You provide value to your company. Your company should provide equal value back to you.
And if that exchange is wildly out of balance? You don’t need to meditate harder. You need to pay attention.
I’m not going to deep-breathe my way through garbage leadership.
I’m not going to gratitude-journal my way through a hostile culture.
I’m going to observe what’s broken, acknowledge what I can’t change, and then if nothing shifts, I’m going to leave. I don’t have to tolerate a dysfunctional system, and I won’t be gaslit into doing so through being told to just be “mindful” about it. That’s ridiculous.
The Threadsmith Group Approach
At The Threadsmith Group, we don’t believe in cookie-cutter advice. We believe in real answers for real people, backed by experience, strategy, and a healthy dose of common sense.
Got a question of your own? Send it in. Let’s talk about the things that actually matter.