The Power of Saying “I Don’t Know” (Especially if You Don’t Want to Burn Out Your Team)
A lot of leaders are deeply uncomfortable not knowing something. Somewhere along the way, they got the message that leaders should always have a plan, always have an answer, always be ten steps ahead. So they start faking it, bluffing their way through conversations and isolating themselves in ivory towers, convinced they have to project certainty. They keep pretending they have all the answers, like some kind of shitty Merlin without the cool dragons or the magic.
That act doesn’t just hurt you, it fries your people. Every time you pretend, your team pays for it. They’re the ones scrambling to deliver on half-baked strategies, spinning their wheels in meetings that don’t go anywhere, or pulling late nights to fix problems that started because you didn’t admit you were unsure. You might think you’re protecting them by acting confident, but what you’re actually doing is burning them out.
Here’s the truth: saying “I don’t know” isn’t weakness. It’s leadership. It clears the fog, stops the guessing games, and saves your team from carrying the cost of your ego.
Why “I Don’t Know” Stops Team Burnout
It lowers anxiety instead of raising it.
When you fake confidence, your people don’t feel safe, they feel tense. They start second-guessing every decision, reading between the lines, and working harder to cover the gaps they suspect are there. That constant hyper-awareness is exhausting.
It prevents wasted work.
When you make a call you’re not sure about, your team is the one cleaning it up later. They are the ones grinding through endless revisions, re-scoping projects at the last minute, or silently redoing work after hours. Burnout is baked into the cycle when no one feels safe to question you.
It sets the tone for honesty.
If you act like knowing everything is the cost of leadership, your team will act like knowing everything is the cost of being on your team. That’s how you create a culture of pretending, where no one asks for help, no one admits mistakes, and everyone quietly drowns. And you, the leader, are the one teaching them to drown.
But if you normalize “I don’t know,” people start telling the truth. They flag problems before they spiral. They speak up when something doesn’t add up. They stop torching themselves to look perfect because you’ve made it clear that perfection is not the expectation.
How to Say It Without Losing Respect
“That’s a great question. I don’t have the answer right now, but I’ll dig in.”
“I’m not sure yet, but let’s walk through what we do know.”
“This is new territory. Let’s figure it out together.”
You’re not dodging responsibility, you’re telling the truth. And that truth is the difference between a team that trusts you and a team that silently resents the fallout of your pretending.
What This Changes
When leaders start saying “I don’t know,” teams stop overextending themselves. They stop wasting time on doomed plans. They stop swallowing stress they shouldn’t have to carry.
Your pretending is what fries your people. Your honesty is what keeps them alive.
The Threadsmith Group Approach
At The Threadsmith Group, we help leaders understand that bluffing their way through doesn’t just wear them down, it sets their entire team on fire. No one does their best work when they’re running on fumes, and no one should have to.
You don’t need to conjure half-formed visions and hope people will follow. You need to be a leader who tells the truth, makes space for better ideas, and creates conditions where people can thrive without torching themselves in the process.
You don’t have to know everything. You just have to stop pretending before it burns your team to the ground.