Managing People is Hard. Here’s How to Stay Human Anyway
Managing people is hard. It is one of the most complex, emotional, high-stakes jobs you can take on, and most people get thrown into it with little more than a title change and a hearty handshake from your higher ups. There’s a secondary rant in here somewhere about how utterly ridiculous that is and it’s no wonder there are SO MANY terrible managers out there, but today is not that day.
Today I want to acknowledge the sudden culture shock of managing. Overnight, you are suddenly not only responsible for your own work, you are responsible for someone else’s growth, their motivation, their clarity when the work gets messy, their confidence when conflict shows up, their stress levels when deadlines pile up, and their ability to make it through the week without falling apart. Multiplied by however many people you now lead.
That is a lot. And it is one of the fastest roads to burnout if you are not careful. Some managers cope by shutting down emotionally because distance feels safer. Others cope by overextending, taking on every problem themselves because they care too much. Both routes end in major exhaustion at best, and at worst, I’ve seen people wind up hospitalized from the stress.
The work is learning how to stay human without burning yourself or your team out in the process.
Be clear, but never at the expense of kindness
Clarity is not cold, and kindness is not fluff. You need both if you want your team to stay engaged without burning out.
Clarity means setting expectations so people are not wasting energy guessing. It means giving feedback that is specific and actionable, so no one is left spinning their wheels in the dark. Ambiguity is exhausting, and clear direction prevents that kind of drain.
Kindness means delivering that clarity with empathy. It means assuming good intent and caring about how someone feels when they leave a tough conversation. Shame burns people out faster than workload ever could.
Clarity without kindness is harsh. Kindness without clarity is confusing. Together, they keep people from drowning.
Make room for people to be people
Burnout thrives in cultures where humanity is treated like an inconvenience. Your team is not made up of productivity machines. They are human beings with actual lives, and those lives will leak into work whether anyone likes it or not.
The best managers acknowledge that reality instead of ignoring it. They ask how people are doing and listen to the answer. They celebrate wins and acknowledge losses. They give grace when someone is stretched thin, and they model asking for it themselves.
Modeling is the hardest part, but it is also the most powerful signal you can send. When people feel like they are allowed to be human at work, they stop burning themselves out trying to prove otherwise.
Stop pretending to have all the answers
Nothing burns a team out faster than a leader who pretends to know everything. It creates bad calls, wasted work, and a culture where no one feels safe to admit they are struggling.
You do not need to be flawless. You need to be real. If you do not know something, say so. If you get something wrong, own it. If you are having a hard week, name it out loud.
People do not need a perfect leader. They need a leader they can trust. That honesty keeps teams from wasting energy on second-guessing, and it keeps you from exhausting yourself performing certainty.
Protect your boundaries or watch the fire spread
Managers burn out fast when they believe their job is to fix everything for everyone. It is not. Your job is to support, guide, and empower. It is not to absorb every emotion, solve every issue, or be available around the clock.
Protect your time, your energy, and your role. If you do not, your team will assume they are not allowed to either. Burnout spreads fastest when leaders model it. Balance only spreads when leaders live it.
And stop sending 10pm emails. I mean it. That’s such a bad idea.
Keep learning, because burnout prevention is never finished
Managing people is not a skill you master once and put on a shelf. It is a practice that evolves, and it takes constant learning to avoid slipping into the patterns that burn everyone out.
Stay curious and keep asking for feedback. Pay attention to what worked and what didn’t, and let both teach you something. Read the book, try the new approach, work with a coach if you need to (hi). Keep experimenting, because leading people is never a finished skill.
You are not supposed to be perfect, you are supposed to be growing. And growth is what keeps you, and your team, from burning out.
At The Threadsmith Group, we help managers lead without losing themselves in the process. Accountability and balance go hand in hand, and no one does their best work in survival mode.
Let’s build something better together.