It's Not You, It's Your Boss: How to Know When It’s Time to Move On
We hear it all the time: “I love the work, but my boss…”
And then comes the long pause. The awkward laugh. The slow exhale that says everything they aren’t ready to say out loud yet. We get it. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and the emotional scarring to prove it.
Here’s the truth: you can love the mission, your teammates, the product, and still know deep down that your boss is the reason you dread Mondays. You’re not imagining it. And you’re not weak for feeling it.
Bad management isn’t just frustrating. It’s disorienting. It makes you second-guess yourself. It chips away at your confidence. And if you’re not careful, it convinces you that you’re the problem, when really, you’re just reacting like any healthy person would in a dysfunctional environment.
So how do you know if it’s time to move on?
1. You’re Being Micromanaged Into the Ground
Your boss asks for updates on everything. You can’t make a single decision without approval. Every project turns into a performance review. You feel like you’re constantly under a microscope and never quite good enough.
That’s not accountability. That’s control. And it’s exhausting.
Micromanagement is a sign that your boss doesn’t trust you or doesn’t know how to lead someone they can trust. Neither of those are problems you can fix by overperforming, as tempting as it is. You will never perform your way out of a micromanager.
2. Feedback is Rare (or Weaponized)
You never know where you stand. Or worse, you do know, and it’s because every conversation is laced with criticism. Praise is nonexistent. Expectations shift constantly. Feedback is vague, delayed, or delivered in a way that leaves you rattled.
You cannot grow in an environment that doesn’t support your growth. And you shouldn’t have to decipher mixed signals like it’s your full-time job.
3. You’re Shrinking to Stay Safe
You stop sharing ideas. You stop asking questions. You stop showing up as yourself because you’ve learned that authenticity isn’t safe here.
This one’s subtle, but huge. If you find yourself performing a watered-down version of you just to survive the workweek, that’s a red flag. You deserve to work somewhere that values your voice, not punishes it.
4. They Talk, But Don’t Listen
You’ve tried to advocate for yourself. You’ve shared concerns. You’ve offered solutions. And nothing changes. Or worse, you’re told your concerns aren’t valid. That you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting.”
A good leader takes feedback seriously. A great one acts on it. If yours does neither, it’s okay to stop trying. Your first obligation is to yourself, and NO JOB is worth your mental health.
5. You’re Doing Their Job (and Yours)
You’re the one keeping the team informed. You’re managing conflict. You’re handling the emotional labor your boss refuses to do. And you’re still expected to hit every deadline with a smile on your face.
This is a heavy one. And it’s one of the clearest signs that the leadership gap is real and costing you more than you might realize.
So… Should You Leave?
Only you can answer that. But if the thought of your boss never changing makes your stomach drop and the thought of working under someone new makes you breathe easier? That’s not nothing.
You don’t have to wait for things to get worse. You don’t have to stay just because you’ve invested time. You don’t have to twist yourself into knots trying to make a broken system work.
You deserve to work somewhere that sees you, supports you, and helps you grow. Full stop.
At The Threadsmith Group, we coach people who are navigating all kinds of leadership dynamics—great bosses, tough bosses, and everything in between. If you’re stuck in that quiet, painful space of wondering if it’s time to go, we’d love to help you sort it out.
Let’s find what’s next. On your terms.