WednesdAMA: Reader-Submitted Questions
While it’s true we get to do a lot of cool work with various companies, it’s no secret that our individual mentoring is considered the crown jewel of The Threadsmith Group. If we can make one person’s life better through the mentoring we provide, the business is a success.
BUT, not everyone is able to make the investment to get 1:1 mentoring, and we believe in giving back to the community. So welcome to WednesdAMA, in which we take a mix of reader submitted questions and LinkedIn questions and answer them.
Reader-Submitted: “I keep comparing myself to other people and it’s ruining my momentum. How do I stop?”
Comparison! The thief of joy! Been there, cried in my therapist’s office about it.
The key thing to always remember is this: unless you live with that person and spend almost all your time with them, you’re only ever really seeing the highlight reel of their lives. You’re not seeing the mess behind them, because no one shows it off.
You’re stacking your real life—your behind-the-scenes, unfiltered, late-night-doubt-filled reality—against someone else's polished LinkedIn post or perfectly worded status update. Of course it’s gonna mess with your momentum. You’re comparing yourself to something that isn’t real.
Also consider this: comparison really makes you chase other people’s goals over your own. As an example, my best friend is a marathon runner. I, by comparison, am best described as “indoorsy”. I like lifting weights and playing Beat Saber. You won’t catch me up at 5am running outside. Ick. If I look at her life, her cardiovascular capacity, the way her body had to build different muscles than mine to achieve her goals, and judge myself for them, I’m ignoring my own goals and what my actual wants and needs are.
Comparison tricks you into measuring your worth by things that might not even matter to you. Suddenly, you’re sprinting toward a finish line you didn’t choose, in shoes that don’t fit, wondering why it hurts so much to run. And now I’m done with the running analogy.
So what do you do?
Pause and ask:
What do I actually want? What do I value? What kind of life am I building and where do I want to be?
Let that be your compass.
Not someone else’s applause. Not their timeline. Not their curated wins. Definitely not someone’s humblebragging nonsense LinkedIn post, ick.
And if you still feel the need to compare?
Compare current-you to past-you. That’s it. Your own growth toward your own personal goals is all that matters at the end of the day.
LinkedIn: “Your boss demands impossible sales goals. How do you maintain your sanity and exceed expectations?”
YOU DON’T.
Let’s get something straight: breaking down an impossible goal doesn’t make it possible.
If I tell you to grow wings and fly to the moon, no amount of “SMART goals” or “chunking the task” is going to make gravity disappear. So when your boss slaps an unachievable target on your plate, this isn’t a motivational moment, it’s a diagnostic one.
Your job isn’t to kill yourself trying to hit it.
Your job is to name the absurdity and protect your own reality.
Try saying something to your manager like, “This target is significantly outside of historical performance and current capacity. I need goals that are grounded in data and reality so I can build a strategy that has a chance at working.”
If they ignore that? Or guilt-trip you with some “top performers find a way” horseshit?
Start updating your resume. Because this is not a coaching gap, it’s a straight-up leadership failure.
You are not failing, the system is, and it’s doing it’s absolute best to make you think YOU are the problem. You don’t need to exceed delusional expectations to prove your worth. And you don’t need someone trying to gaslight you into the impossible.
Reader-Submitted: “I want to ask for a raise, but I feel awkward and ungrateful. Help?”
AWKWARD AND UNGRATEFUL??? For WHAT??
You’re not bowing at the feet of some benevolent employer for deigning to allow you to survive another month. This is a transactional relationship. You are providing time, labor, emotional bandwidth, and strategic value. They are compensating you. That’s the deal.
And guess what? You’re allowed to renegotiate that deal. Especially if your responsibilities have grown, your performance is strong, or gasp, inflation exists.
You asking for a raise doesn’t make you ungrateful, it makes you AWARE. It means you understand your worth and are willing to advocate for it, which something most companies very much hope you won’t do. They want you to feel like they are graciously offering you a job and you should be thankful and you have no power over them. The fact of the matter is, you do.
Here’s something along the lines of what I’d say: “I’d love to talk about aligning my compensation with the level of impact I’m delivering. I’ve delivered [specific achievements, scope increases, measurable wins] and would like to discuss a raise commensurate with my achievements.”
Clear. Direct. No apologies.
And if their response is “now’s not the right time” or “you should just be grateful you have a job”?
Polish up your resume, it’s time to go. That’s not a reflection of you at all, that’s a reflection of how unbelievably little they actually value you and your accomplishments.
Ask for the raise. You’re not being greedy. You’re being real.
Because “loyalty” that keeps you underpaid isn’t loyalty, it’s exploitation.
LinkedIn: “You're overwhelmed with conflicting tasks at work. How do you prioritize and manage your stress effectively?”
When work throws you five flaming swords and says, “Juggle these while blindfolded,” the issue isn’t your breathing techniques or doing enough yoga or whatever, it’s the chaos.
No amount of mindfulness will make a contradictory workload make sense.
I’d suggest going to your manager with some version of the following: “Here are the conflicting priorities I’ve been given. I need your help deciding what comes first, what gets paused, or what gets delegated.”
This is not you being difficult. This is you protecting your time, your quality of work, and your sanity. If your manager is any good at their job, they’ll help untangle the mess.
If they’re not? Then you make the conflict visible. Loop in the people assigning you conflicting tasks. Get them in a room. Forward the email thread. Say, “I need help reconciling these asks—can you two align?”
This is not your puzzle to solve alone. It’s theirs.
And if your manager consistently refuses to give clear direction, or worse—punishes you for needing it? You better be updating your resume and getting the hell out of there. You deserve a manager who manages and supports you. That’s the bare minimum.
Stress isn’t a productivity problem. It’s a clarity problem.
Get the clarity you need—or go find a place that gives it to you by default.
The Threadsmith Group Approach
At The Threadsmith Group, we don’t believe in cookie-cutter advice. We believe in real answers for real people, backed by experience, strategy, and a healthy dose of common sense.
Got a question of your own? Send it in. Let’s talk about the things that actually matter.